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How do you and your spouse celebrate Valentine’s Day?

If you scroll through your social feed around Valentine’s Day you’re met with thousands of filtered moments of happy couples. It’s hard to know how much of what we see is real and if we should have the same expectations for our own celebration.

Ever wonder how other couples really spend Valentine’s Day?

We asked couples from all lengths of marriages what they do for Valentine’s Day and here is their best advice:

Andrew & Christa, 6.5 years

Royal Drive Autos

“We both celebrate Valentine's Day differently: Christa spends it celebrating my birthday and I celebrate it spending it with my Valentine. 🥰 We both take the day off to go watch a movie, eat at a fun restaurant, or visit an attraction (indoors lol).

We do our best to be intentional about planning what we’d both consider ‘especially’ fun. Valentine’s Day only comes around once a year, so we try to plan on something really special and memorable!”

Our advice to you!
We try our best to focus on giving to the other person on Valentine's Day. For us it's a day that helps us slow down to focus on the other person. It ranks high on the holiday ranking for me because most holidays are outwardly focused with events, other people, and things to keep us busy. But Valentine's Day helps us slow down and just be with each other.

Don’t be afraid to go all out! Filling the house with balloons, dressing up even if you’re not going out, or writing a card are great ways to express your love outside of the everyday norm. Going all out can make the day so much more exciting, so don’t be afraid to think outside of the box and have fun!

Debra & Steve, 35 years

“Our Valentine's Days are pretty quiet. We usually make a meal at home and/or a special dessert. Steve would buy me flowers & chocolate. (I always told him to buy flowers after Valentine's day to save money lol) We included our kids in Valentine's Day festivities, making heart shaped cookies and writing Valentine's out for grandparents, aunties & uncles. We also discussed the true story of Valentine's day with our kids - It was a family affair complete with decorations ❤️💖❤️ Even today in our 60's, we prefer quiet meals at home.

I have a very romantic (to me) Valentine's Day story: Years ago Steve bought me a porch swing for Christmas. I always wanted one and since we had just bought a house and moved in on New Years Eve, I was so overwhelmed with that gift. Well on Valentine's day that year he surprised me by hanging it up! I came home to a dark porch, which was odd, but as soon as I stepped on the porch the lights went on and there was my beautiful wooden porch swing!!! Even though it was like -10 outside, we sat on that swing all bundled up swinging 💖💕💖 Best Valentine's gift ever!”

Our advice to you!
Celebrate love every day with notes to each other, special desserts or flowers or candy on random "non-holiday" occasions. Those little notes in lunch boxes or sticky notes on the steering wheel cannot even compare to just that one day!

Paiton & Cameron, almost a year!

Paiton Jean

“We’ve done tons of different things from watching a movie online together while he was deployed to going to see a movie at the theatre. Last year we even played arcade games and went to a movie theatre where they served food.”

Our advice to you!
Do what works for you. Now we have a five month old kiddo and our days of having peaceful dates at the theatre are gone but that doesn’t mean we still can’t celebrate together.

Brenda & Daniel, 6.5 years

“We don’t really have a normal way to spend V-day but one year we spent it in FL at a Sean Feucht Let Us Worship event which was awesome! Other years we’ll exchange cards and have dinner and I usually get flowers.”

Our advice to you!
We think every day should be like V-Day! Tell each other that you love each other every day.

Leanne & Bob, 32 years

“We treat Valentine’s Day like any other day but with extra appreciation for each other”

Our advice to you!
Give extra attention ANY day your partner needs it. Make sure to know each other's expectations of the holidays.

David & Sarah, 8.5 years

“Valentine's day since having kids looks a little different. Sarah puts up decorations and treats the night before to surprise the kids. There's usually flowers and chocolate and an expensive Hallmark card waiting at the breakfast table for Sarah. David usually receives a Man Crate or other unique gift. Instead of an evening out, we've switched to having "date night in". We put the kids to bed early and then order in a special food and enjoy some uninterrupted conversation over a late dinner. {David added later} Sex. Don't forget the sex.”

Our advice to you!
Celebrating Valentine's Day isn't the mark of how strong a couple you's been so commercialized. What matters is that you regularly show each other how much you love the other. It's also good to remember that Valentine's Day isn't just for wives...husbands need to know they are loved and appreciated too!

Jake & Melissa, 4 years

“It might surprise you! We don’t usually do anything special for Valentine’s Day for each other. We love to celebrate our anniversary, but busy restaurants on Valentine’s Day don’t really speak our love language. But we do have fun with it for our kids!”

Our advice to you!
Create a marriage that values regular time spent together so Valentine’s Day can be enjoyed as a fun outing and not a way to quench your romance thirst!

Blooms of dozens of pink roses

Seth & Megan, 13 years

Thrive Chiropractic | Health

“We love a date night out to a restaurant away from the kids!”

Our advice to you!
My best advice for this Valentine’s Day is that your marriage be full of laughter and that you keep becoming passionate friends. In our marriage, we are just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other. We are always pursuing the other person and focusing on their strengths. When we have hard times it is not a lack of love or respect, but a lack of focusing on our friendship. Marriage is a powerful union that provides strength and stability like no other in life.

Ron & Linda, 43 years

“Our Valentine’s Day is usually spent at home. It all begins a few days before, as together we look through our recipes or one of our food magazines, and plan a special, multi-course dinner menu. Over the years we have made everything from duck, to salmon, to steak, to one of our favorite Chinese meals in our wok. It always includes an excellent bottle of wine and a special dessert. We know our night is under way when smooth jazz begins playing in the background and the first glass of wine is poured.”

Our advice to you!
Don’t wait for Valentine’s Day. Once a year is not enough.

Liz & David, 2 years

“We usually will go on a special date or do an activity around that week. Last year, I think we cooked a meal together!”

Our advice to you!
We call it a Hallmark holiday. So, we value constantly spending time and telling people we love them throughout the year.

John & Sandy, 45 years

“We usually go out to eat on Valentine’s Day and give each other a Valentine card.”

Our advice to you!
John's Valentine's advice is “Men, Don’t forget Valentine's Day!”

Sandy’s Valentine’s advice is “Women, love him and be grateful to God for him and tell him so…no matter what boneheaded thing he’s done or forgotten to do…Forgive him and be grateful for him!!

Adam & Michelle, 8 months

Healthy Entrepreneur
Healthy Entrepreneur Podcast

“This is our second valentine's day together, our first as a married couple. We're on a learning curve as to how we want to spend our holidays. This Valentine's Day, we're looking forward to growing our connection and bed...and otherwise.”

Our advice to you!
Use V-Day as an opportunity to connect, not as an obligation to fulfill.

Sandra & Cory, 37 years

“For Valentine’s Day we usually stay home, have a nice dinner and watch a movie. We have gone out to eat but now prefer to stay home where it’s less busy. As a young couple, our favorite was to go to Godfather’s Pizza, where they served heart shaped pizzas. Something simple but fun.”

Our advice to you!
Our advice would be to not make it any pressure, just enjoy a special evening together. No pressure to find the right gift or spend a lot of money.

Josh & Sara, 21 years

Johnson Home Team

“Oddly enough, we are not usually together on Valentine's Day but we don't typically get caught up in the actual holiday anyway so it's not a big deal. One tradition that we have as a family is to make heart shaped homemade pizza crust and everyone makes their own pizza.”

Our advice to you!
Make every day Valentine's Day! It's completely appropriate to celebrate the love that Christ has for us that allows us to love our spouses the way they want to be loved and served everyday. Don't get caught up in what society expects of you on this "special" day. Be creative!

There you have it!

14 real couples with 14 different ways of spending Valentine’s Day. Did you notice one piece of marriage advice that was repeated over and over? I’ll paraphrase - Celebrate your love year round. Don’t wait for Valentine’s Day to spend time with or celebrate your spouse!

If you’re looking for ways to make time for regular connection in your marriage or need a few more date night ideas, we have you covered.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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